The Link Between Perfectionism and Anxiety: How Therapy Can Help
When "Doing It All” Starts to Feel Like Too Much
You’ve built a life that looks impressive from the outside. What people see is your career, your family, your relationships, and the constant striving to be your best. But on the inside, it’s exhausting. You can’t shake the feeling of it never being enough. Every decision feels high stakes, every mistake feels like failure, and rest feels undeserved.
For many ambitious women, parents, and LGBTQ+ professionals, perfectionism starts as a way to cope; it’s a way to feel safe, accepted, or in control. But over time, that drive to “get it right” becomes a source of constant anxiety, stress, and self-doubt. The truth is, perfectionism and anxiety are deeply connected. It’s possible to break free from the grip of the constant “never enough” feeling.
TL/DR: Learn how perfectionism and anxiety are connected and how EMDR therapy and EMDR intensives with Rachel Duvall, LICSW in Great Barrington, MA and online EMDR therapy in Boston, helps you break the cycle, find calm, and let go of unrealistic expectations.
EMDR therapy for perfectionism and anxiety in Great Barrington, MA
What is perfectionism a symptom of? The Anxiety Connection:
Perfectionism often sounds like a voice in your head saying, “If I can just do everything right, I’ll finally feel calm.” But instead of finding peace, you end up feeling even more anxious.
Perfectionism creates unrealistic expectations that you can never possibly meet. You know this on some level, but you still push harder, double-check everything, and replay conversations in your mind, worried you’ve said or done something wrong. Anxiety thrives in that uncertainty and unknown. It convinces you that if you just try harder, plan more, or stay in control. At its core, anxiety just wants you to feel safe.
But the harder you push, the less present and disconnected you feel. The cycle feeds itself — perfectionism fuels anxiety, and anxiety fuels perfectionism.
The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism
Perfectionism doesn’t just cause stress; it slowly erodes your sense of self-worth and connection.
Emotionally, you may feel constantly on edge, unable to relax or celebrate your successes.
In relationships, you might struggle to open up or accept support, afraid of being seen as “too much” or “not enough.”
At work or home, burnout becomes inevitable — no amount of achievement feels like enough to quiet the inner critic.
Underneath it all is often a deep fear of rejection, failure, or not being good enough — wounds that perfectionism tries to protect you from, but never truly heals. Therapy for perfectionism and the underlying anxiety may be the answer for you.
How EMDR Therapy Helps Break the Cycle
Therapy for perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards, but about understanding why you feel the need to be perfect in the first place. What is driving you this need to be perfect? The answer is often in the past.
EMDR therapy helps identify and heal the root causes of perfectionism and anxiety. Often, experiences from childhood or past relationships where love or safety felt conditional are what lie underneath our need to be perfect. Through EMDR therapy, you can process those memories and let go of the belief that your worth depends on how perfectly you perform. In the place of this belief of needing to always be perfect comes the new belief that you are okay as you are.
The holistic healing provided through EMDR therapy allows your nervous system to begin to feel safer, while the urge to control, please, or achieve starts to soften. You begin to experience what it feels like to rest, to feel proud of yourself without the pressure to do more, and to show up authentically in your relationships.
Healing perfectionism through EMDR therapy creates space for self-compassion, confidence, and calm. It doesn’t mean you’ll never make a mistake again, but that you’ll be able to respond to yourself with calm self-compassion when in these moments.
Ready to Find Relief from Perfectionism and Anxiety?
If you’re tired of holding it all together and ready to start healing the roots of your perfectionism, EMDR therapy can help you find freedom from the anxiety that’s been running the show.
Rachel Duvall, LICSW, offers EMDR therapy and EMDR therapy intensives for perfectionism and anxiety to help you reconnect with your confidence, ease, and sense of self-worth. You don’t have to keep striving to be perfect — you deserve to feel whole.
👉 Wanting to know more about EMDR therapy near me? If you live in MA and Florida, reach out to Schedule a 30-minute consultation with Rachel today to learn how therapy can help you break the cycle and start living with more peace and authenticity.
Rachel Duvall, LICSW, EMDR and Somatic Therapy for Anxiety
Rachel Duvall is a licensed therapist with over 14 years of experience supporting clients in New York City and now Great Barrington, MA. She specializes in EMDR therapy and EMDR therapy intensives for women, parents, and LGTBTQIA+ struggling with anxiety disorders, trauma, perfectionism, and low self-esteem. Rachel uses evidence-based, somatic, holistic therapy approaches like EMDR and Sensorimotor Therapy to help clients feel calmer and more confident in themselves and their relationships. At Rachel Duvall Psychotherapy, she is committed to providing compassionate, expert care both in-person and online for clients across Massachusetts and Florida.
Rachel provides in-person therapy in Great Barrington, MA, in addition to providing trauma therapy online for women and LGBTQIA+ located in the areas of Springfield, MA | Boston, MA | Newton, MA | Hingham, MA
Trauma therapy online for residents of Florida including Miami, FL | Tampa, FL | Sarasota, FL | Orlando, FL
